We know that planning one of the biggest days of your life can be an extremely stressful experience and that’s why here at Chancey Charm with our unique team approach and custom design experience, our aim is to ensure a stress-free planning process. Today on the blog our Chancey Charm wedding planners from Nashville, Charlotte, Dallas, Charlottesville, New York, DC and Houston are all discussing the most stressful parts of wedding planning, what every bride NEEDS to know when planning a wedding, our number one piece of wedding planning advice, and more tips to avoid wedding planning stress!
– The Chancey Charm Team
What tends to be the most stressful part of planning a wedding, both for the wedding planner and the bride?
TRUST. “I think the most stressful part of a wedding from the bride’s angle is being able to trust the person they’ve hired to ensure that their wedding is the same thing they’ve dreamed of their whole life! That’s what is so important about hiring a planner that you fully trust — then you know that they will hire the absolute BEST vendors for YOUR vision and budget! As a planner, I feel the most stressful part is lack of communication from the couple or vendors — we want to make everything seamless for you, so when couples take too long to respond or are flip-flopping on decisions, it makes it difficult to execute that!” – Ashley Bourque, Chancey Charm Nashville
BUDGET. “The most stressful part of planning a wedding for the wedding planner and bride is being able to execute the design without going over budget. Many times, brides have years worth of beautiful Pinterest galleries already saved up before the engagement which is awesome, unfortunately, many times the brides desired budget doesn’t really align as closely with the design aesthetic the bride wishes to have. Many times brides underestimate what the design budget should be in comparison to the look they are going for. As your planner we want to execute your vision as much as you want it, but are often forced to go into budget reminder mode when we start realizing that the design is going to cost way more than you probably want to spend.” – Sacoya Jenkins, Chancey Charm Charlotte
BEING OVERWHELMED. “ I see many couples get overwhelmed by the huge list of tasks they must complete. TO avoid this and to ensure a smooth planning experience, you should organize tasks into smaller groups by priority. Try to tackle one major decision per month. This will help you both financially and for your sanity!
The thing that stresses out the planner the most is inconsistent communication from the client. We understand you have busy lives outside of planning but we cannot serve you the best possible way we can if it takes you a long time to respond to decisions or questions. Flip-flopping on your preferences also creates more stress for planners because we cannot be inside your head. We will bring you what we believe is the best option or what you asked for based on what you said, but we cannot keep up with changes. So, really listen to your heart and make planning a priority. Let your planner know the best times and methods for you to communicate and stick with that schedule.” – Liz Ise, Chancey Charm Dallas
FAMILY DYNAMICS. “One of the most stressful tasks a planner has to deal with is managing family dynamic. Emotions (understandably!) run high on a wedding day and your planner has other tasks that they need to focus on but are often brought into family situations. I wish I could be a therapist, but I’m not!” – Alana Futcher, Chancey Charm Charlottesville and Richmond
SETTING REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. “Often what tends to be stressful for brides and their families is leveling everyone’s expectations when it comes to budget, aesthetic, and priorities for the day. I find the initial planning months can be more stressful than closer to the wedding day because everyone is walking a fine line of expressing their opinions, getting on the same page and establishing a realistic budget. This is just one of the many moments when a third party (a month of coordinator) can step in and alleviate any tension as well as educate on pricing!” – Lauren Harbin, Chancey Charm Virginia & Washington DC
What are the top three things you feel every bride should know while planning their wedding?
1. HIRE A TRUSTED PLANNER
“We’ve been here a hundred times! We know the stress you are in and it’s our job to ease that stress while bringing you the best wedding day possible. Trust us when we suggest vendors or answers to your issues.” – Liz Ize, Chancey Charm, Dallas
“This should be a fun, stress-free time — Try to take time to enjoy the process and trust your people! This only happens once! ” –Ashley Bourque, Chancey Charm Nashville
“Hire a planner before anything else- Wedding planners offer various packages and levels of service and usually one of the packages is a good fit for what you will need during your planning process so don’t think that you have to get the top tier level package, but you should definitely try and get something. Planners can help you with every aspect from scouting and selecting the perfect venue and saving money in the process, to running your wedding rehearsal the night before the big day, truly an invaluable asset. ” – Sacoya Jenkins, Chancey Charm Charlotte
2. SET REALISTIC GOALS, BUDGETS, AND EXPECTATIONS
“Be realistic with your goals and budget — weddings can be beautiful at any price point. If you are trying to stretch your budget and that’s causing stress or placing a burden on your relationship, it is not WORTH IT!” – Ashley Bourque, Chancey Charm Nashville
“You can’t have it all. Pinterest is not your friend and it will give you that champagne taste. Throughout the planning process you will have to make decisions based on budget. This might mean not including something you were hoping to, scaling down an idea, or changing your plans altogether. Every size budget has moments like this! Put your focus and your money onto the things that are the most important to you. Plan for those non-negotiable items and know that it may make other areas scaled down.” – Liz Ise, Chancey Charm Dallas-Fort Worth
“Set realistic expectations- we all want the Pinterest, swoon-worthy wedding photos, but go into the planning process with realistic expectations for what you know you can afford and also what is accessible and available to you in your market.” – Sacoya Jenkins, Chancey Charm Charlotte
“Staying in a realistic budget will make the aftermath of the wedding day so much better. There will be less regrets if you enjoyed the day and didn’t stretch yourself financially to make it happen! The bride needs to prioritize her vendors because she most likely won’t be able to afford her dream vendor for every aspect of the wedding day. I advise focusing on the top two or three areas the bride cares about and investing their budget there.” – Lauren Harbin, Chancey Charm Virginia + Washington.
3. REMEMBER IT IS YOUR DAY
“Remember that this is your day to remember and something may definitely go wrong — but you can only control so much, and you will remember all the positive moments — not the small little slips!” – Ashley Bourque, Chancey Charm Nashville
“Brides should also know that the day is about her and her fiance. Voices from others can get very loud and sometimes overwhelm your own personal opinions. Even though someone else may be paying or have stronger/louder opinions, that doesn’t mean you have to forgo your own preferences. Stick to what you and your fiance want and you’ll have no regrets on the wedding day.” – Liz Ise, Chancey Charm Dallas
“Remember at the end of the day you are marrying your best friend and that’s all that matters.Wedding planning can bring about a wide range of emotions but one thing that should always remain constant is that you are marrying your very best friend and that, above all else, is most important.” – Sacoya Jenkins, Chancey Charm Charlotte, NC
“It’s not uncommon for a bride to have different opinions than her inner circle of family and close friends. The important note is that everyone remains supportive and as positive as possible.” – Lauren Harbin, Chancey Charm Virginia + Washington DC
What’s the number one piece of advice you give brides?
HAVING A PLAN. “When it comes to gifts, cards, items of importance, designate the person in charge of that before the wedding day! This will save so much time, and energy, especially at the end of the night if someone is assigned to keeping track of those items. Normally my team and I would assist in packing these up or taking them to a designated area. But other families like to have a relative in charge. So have that plan ahead of time!” – Chantal, Chancey Charm NYC
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. “Yes, details are important and do matter, you never want to forget this day and certain small detail elements that you incorporate to your big day will create a lasting memory that you will never ever forget. On the other hand though, if you get too caught up and stressed with too many of the small details you could lose sight of the true reason for the occasion, love. Think about what details are going to be important to you in 10 or so years. Don’t get caught in trends or stress yourself out over not having the budget for specifics trends. When you see a trend, think of how you can use that as inspiration for something that is unique to you and your fiance- you don’t have to mimic it exactly.” – Alana Futcher, Chancey Charm Charlottesville and Richmond
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. “Ultimately, the day is about you and your fiance joining as one. Let every decision flow back to who you are as a couple. This helps shut out the rest of the white noise that may come up from family members, well-meaning friends, or outside sources (looking at you Pinterest and Instagram). When you focus on staying true to who you are and making decisions that reflect this, the result is a personal, beautiful, day that feels 100% authentic to you.” – Skylar Caitlin, Chancey Charm Houston
FIRST LOOK! “First looks are popular because they make for epic groom reaction shots and additional couple portraits, but more importantly this is often the ONLY part of the day where you are alone with your husband (well and the photographer :p)! I often tell brides that are teetering with the idea that it will still be just as emotional and special when you walk down the aisle, but now you have a bonus of alone time with your man and beautiful first look portraits!” – Lauren Harbin, Chancey Charm Virginia + Washington
Anything else you’d like to add about wedding planning?
HIRE AND TRUST A GOOD WEDDING PLANNER. “It may sometimes seem like having a planner is “out of budget” but honestly, you can’t afford not to have a planner. Even if it’s just someone who will step in at the end of the process to do Day of Coordination so you can enjoy your final few months of engagement peacefully. Having a trusted professional who can provide you with the best recommendations and resources as you navigate through planning can save you so much time and money. You deserve to have peace and bliss during your planning process, and if you’ve never planned a wedding before, sometimes, it can be a little less peaceful and a lot more hectic to do on your own.” -Sacoya Jenkins, Chancey Charm Charlotte
“A planner is there to help guide you through this process, be a voice of reason to you and your family, and to make sure that everything you have dreamed of for so long is happening. Remember to trust them, trust the process, and hire someone you connect with. That is so important when wanting to share your feelings and thoughts through this time!” – Ashley Bourque, Chancey Charm Nashville
COMMUNICATION. “Be sure you are communicating with your vendors, especially your planner! If you have something specific you want to incorporate, make sure you are communicating with your vendors. They are there to make YOUR day special so don’t be afraid to tell them specifics of what you want!” – Alana Futcher, Chancey Charm Charlottesville and Richmond
HAVE A CONTRACT. “Always, always have a contract. Even with a friend or family member you’re hiring, you need a contract. Not just to for legal protection but to set clear expectations that will leave you both happy and stress-free day-of. I had a bride who hired a family friend to provide the BBQ for her wedding. She expected them to set-up the buffet line, serve the guests as they went through the line, and clean-up their trash at the end of the night. However, when they day came, the company simply had a delivery person deposit the food in the prep kitchen and leave. It wasn’t that the BBQ company was trying to skirt their duties, but there was clearly a miscommunication in expectations that could have all been prevented by having a contract.” – Skylar Caitlin, Chancey Charm Houston
KEEP IT UNIQUELY YOU. “Stay off of Pinterest! Think about the elements that make your relationship unique and run with it! Some of the most memorable events I’ve worked include bright colors, Game of Thrones theme, the couple’s dog, unique venues, and late-night food trucks. If you LOVE a certain food, have it at your wedding! If you envisioned an untraditional ceremony, go for it! The couple and guests all have a better experience when the wedding day doesn’t feel like a performance.” – Lauren Harbin, Chancey Charm Virginia + Washington DC
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