As wedding planners, we often get asked about the role of the maid of honor. While many people have an idea of what this person does, there is often confusion and misunderstanding about the specific duties and responsibilities of the maid of honor.
So here, some of our wedding planners are sharing their advice and definitions of what role a maid of honor plays in your wedding.
– The Wedding Planning Team
PLANNER NAME: Anastasiia | Kogan Events
LOCATION: Atlanta, GA
The maid of honor, also known as the matron of honor if she is married, is the bride’s closest friend or family member who is chosen to assist and support the bride during the wedding planning process and on the big day. The maid of honor is usually the second in command after the bride, and she plays a crucial role in the planning and execution of the wedding.
One of the main duties of the maid of honor is to be a supportive and reliable confidante for the bride. She should be available to listen and offer advice.She typically helps the bride choose her dress and veil, and accompanies her to fittings. The Maid of Honor also helps to organize the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The Maid of Honor is also responsible for handing out wedding favors and ensuring that the bride’s wedding gifts are delivered to her after the wedding.
On the day of the wedding, the maid of honor has several important tasks to fulfill. She is responsible for helping the bride get ready and to keep track of the wedding party’s schedule. She may also hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, sign the marriage license as a witness, and give a toast at the reception.
In short, the maid of honor plays a crucial role in the wedding planning process and on the big day. She is a confidante, advisor, and organizer, and she helps to make sure the wedding is a success.
A wedding planner can take on a lot of the responsibilities that would traditionally fall to the Maid of Honor so she can enjoy your big day. A wedding planner can help with tasks such as organizing the rehearsal dinner, arranging transportation for the wedding party, and even helping to choose the wedding cake. This leaves the Maid of Honor free to focus on things like helping the bride get ready on the big day and making sure that all the guests have a good time. Plus, a wedding planner can take care of any last-minute emergencies that may come up, which can be a huge relief to the Maid of Honor.
So if you’re looking for a way to make your wedding day less stressful not only for yourself but also for the Maid of Honor, consider hiring a wedding planner.
First off, I would encourage any bride to choose whoever she wants to choose as her Maid of Honor. In addition, I’m always a fan of throwing out the rule book when applicable. Rather you want three Maid of Honor’s or don’t want any bridesmaids at all, do what you want. On that note, I believe it’s necessary to have a conversation with your potential Maid of Honor before you send her that cute customized robe and formal proposal in the mail. Key things to talk about are:
The financial investment. Think about what you plan on paying for and what you want her to pay for. This includes flights, trips, dresses/shoes/accessories, showers, etc. Before you ask her (or any potential bridesmaids), you should know an estimate of how much being in the wedding party will be. For example:
- The wedding takes place in Atlanta, but she lives in NYC. Flight to ATL for wedding weekend- $400.
- Hotel for 3 nights – $500
- Dress – $200
- Shoes – $100
- Hair and Make-up – $150
- Bachelorette trip to Nashville: $1,500
- Bridal shower expenses: $1,500
Now look at this list and figure out what you are prepared to cover (I personally would advise to always pay for her hotel/AirBnb over the wedding weekend, as well as her dress, shoes, and hair/make-up). Also take a look at what is negotiable and what isn’t (she needs a dress; does everyone absolutely need those matching Kate Spade shoes or can you delete that?)
The time/emotional investment. Think about where she is in life. New moms, women with hectic careers, or friends who live far away might have a hard time for many reasons. Maids of Honor also usually throw a bridal shower for the bride (often with the help of the bridesmaids) – does she have the time to do this?
What role do each of you believe the Maid of Honor plays? Be realistic and kind. Your Maid of Honor is your best friend and is there to have fun with you and support you. This should be a super fun experience for the both of you; aim to make this as stress free as possible! What your maid of honor is not is your wedding planner or a crafting machine that can spend dozens of hours at Hobby Lobby. Your wedding is probably the most important thing in your life right now, but it’s most likely not hers. Make sure she feels 100% comfortable with the responsibilities and investment before she says yes.
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While there are a lot of roles these great planners have outlined for a maid-of-honor, ultimately it’s important to take time to talk to your maid-of-honor to ensure your expectations of each other align. Depending on their capacity, distance from you, skill-set, and personality, they may or may not be able to fulfill every duty you have in mind. In this case, you (or they) can divvy out tasks to other wedding party members or involved family and friends who can offer additional support to your wedding planning journey.
Your Maid of Honor or VIP persons can be your points of contact for you and your wedding planner on the day of your wedding and the days leading up to the wedding. It is very important to have someone in your wedding party to help you communicate with your planner and get anything you need when you are getting ready and may have transportation and travel involved on the wedding day. This person can play a major role in your wedding support team, even if they don’t stand at the altar like a traditional wedding party member.
We hope that this provides some clarification on what role the maid of honor plays in your wedding.
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